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| How to deal with a narcissist |
Your well-being and mental health may be impacted by managing a relationship with a narcissist. Try techniques include establishing firm limits and leaning on a network of trustworthy allies.
The word "narcissist" is commonly used. It's a term used to characterise persons who come across as being primarily self-centred, self-centred, or manipulative of the others in their lives.
A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health problem that certain people may experience. (NPD). Based on the criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, this illness can only be diagnosed by a certified mental health professional. (DSM-5).
Others who don't meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis of narcissism may have certain narcissistic tendencies.
This article will teach you how to deal with a narcissistic personality characteristic in a person in your life, as well as how to set up appropriate boundaries and behaviours with them.
Read also: What Is Responsibility OCD?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Traits
The term "narcissist" is frequently used to characterise someone who lacks empathy and is self-centred.
However, it's crucial to keep in mind that NPD is a real mental health issue that can present serious difficulties for the individual who has it. Others may find it more difficult to continue to relate to the individual as a result.
However, some individuals may have narcissistic traits without having NPD. These might consist of:
- having the appearance of being inflated with one's significance
- creating an imaginary universe to increase their feeling of grandeur
- requiring unending acclaim and respect
- a feeling of entitlement
- exploiting or taking advantage of others without feeling guilty or ashamed
- not being sensitive to or aware of others' needs
- insulting or intimidating people
- dominating discussions or gatherings
NPD or narcissistic characteristics cause people to be especially sensitive to criticism from others, which only serves to aggravate matters further. When confronted, they could become angry. If they feel neglected or slighted, they may also become furious.
Here are some suggestions on how to cope with someone who exhibits NPD or narcissistic characteristics in addition to advice on knowing when to quit a relationship.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder And Relationships
Most people who do not have NPD or other comparable mental health issues view a partnership as a selfless equation. It is giving something to someone else without expecting an immediate or equal return.
Those that exhibit narcissistic personality qualities don't frequently behave like that. They usually see relationships as business dealings or as necessary for their advantage.
NPD sufferers do tend to be endearing, alluring, and intriguing. That may make them seem seductive and impossible to refuse. However, the reality is that individuals with narcissistic qualities frequently have tumultuous relationships that are roiled by rage, resentment, and abuse.
The reciprocity required for good relationships is not always possible for those with NPD. They can try to blame others for their flaws or failings. When arguing, they might be erratic and emotional. To evade responsibility, they may at times even lie or manipulate others.
A spouse may feel empty, worn out, and fatigued as a result. Partners of persons with NPD may choose to comply with their partner's demands and manipulation rather than defending themselves or setting limits for their mental health.
It's crucial to keep in mind that not all relationships with people who have NPD will be as problematic. With therapy, some people can lessen their narcissistic tendencies and create more equal relationships.
How Not To Deal With Narcissistic Tendencies
It seldom works to confront someone with NPD about their actions. They frequently fight to keep their advantage and are fiercely opposed to change.
The best course of action is to concentrate on your behaviours and well-being rather than trying to "fix" a person with NPD. Setting boundaries and strengthening your network of family, friends, and professionals are two things you should do to prepare for the ups and downs of a relationship with this individual.
1. Educate Yourself About NPD
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| Educate Yourself About NPD |
People with narcissistic personalities are frequently characterised as charming and likeable, which may make it simple to ignore some of their other more destructive behaviours.
To make it simpler to spot the symptoms of NPD, it's crucial to become familiar with them.
The person's strengths and limitations will become clearer to you as a result, and you will be better equipped to handle any difficulties that may occur.
Additionally, it could be the first step in coming to terms with them as they are and developing more reasonable expectations for your partnership.
Read literature authored by mental health specialists or speak with a mental health professional. This could teach you the finest techniques to talk to a loved one who exhibits narcissistic personality traits.
2. Build Your Self-Esteem
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| Build Your Self-Esteem |
When establishing a relationship with someone who has NPD, it might be much simpler to manage and live with some of the potentially destructive behaviours you may come across.
You may build resilience and boost your self-esteem by talking to yourself positively, taking care of yourself, and establishing a supportive network.
Higher self-esteem can also make it simpler to establish firm boundaries, express yourself, and stand up for what you believe in—all of which are essential for preserving a relationship with someone who has NPD.
3. Speak Up For Yourself
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| Speak Up For Yourself |
Pick your fights, you know, sometimes the best course of action is to ignore things or just go.
However, a lot relies on the connection. interacting with a coworker, sibling, or kid may need different approaches than interacting with a boss, parent, or spouse, for example.
When conversing with someone who has NPD, if you feel that your boundaries have been broken, try not to react, become agitated, or display irritation.
You owe it to yourself to speak out if it's someone you want to stay near in your life. Try to approach things in a polite, calm manner.
You need to let them know how their actions and comments affect your life. Be clear and consistent about what is unacceptable and how you want to be treated, but be aware that it could be difficult for others to comprehend or empathise with you.
4. Set Clear Boundaries
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| Set Clear Boundaries |
When interacting with someone who has NPD, you can find that your boundaries are being stepped on.
It's preferable to establish boundaries about any behaviours that you find undesirable and make sure that the other person is aware of them rather than attempting to alter someone with NPD.
To make sure you are regarded seriously, you should also enforce these boundaries rather than issuing pointless threats or demands.
5. Practice Skills To Keep Calm
It could be simpler to maintain composure and refrain from responding when engaging with someone who has NPD if you practise techniques like deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.
Before stating your limits, it may be helpful to clarify your goals or practise your speech.
Additionally, it can assist you in foreseeing their responses to difficult talks so that you can reply correctly.
6. Find A Support System
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| Find A Support System |
If you can't avoid the individual, make an effort to expand your network of supportive relationships. You may experience emotional exhaustion if you remain in a toxic relationship with a narcissist for an extended period.
Try to foster new relationships and rekindle old ones. Spend more time with your family.
If your social circle is not as large as you'd like, consider enrolling in a class to learn more about a new pastime. Get involved in your neighbourhood or offer your time to a nearby nonprofit. Engage in activities that will help you meet more individuals you can get along with.
7. Insist On Immediate Action, Not Promises
Promise-making is a skill that many individuals with narcissistic personalities possess. They can pledge to follow your wishes and refrain from doing what you detest, or they might pledge to perform better in general.
They frequently mean what they say when they make these promises. However, in other circumstances, these assurances could also serve as a vehicle for other goals.
It's crucial to be clear about what you want, need, or expect and to express yourself quietly and softly, even when confrontation is not advised. Inform them that you would only meet their wishes once they have complied with yours.
To take your expectations seriously, you need also to be dependable and persistent.
8. Understand That A Narcissistic Person May Need Professional Help
Substance use disorder, other mental health conditions, and personality problems are typically present in people with NPD. The need for assistance may be triggered by the presence of another disease.
It's also crucial to keep in mind that narcissistic characteristics aren't necessarily a sign of a more serious mental health problem. Some characteristics, such as arrogance or grandiosity, can be displayed by some people without being the outcome of a more serious mental health issue.
A mental health professional's assessment is the only way to differentiate between random characteristics and a real problem.
Even those who exhibit narcissistic qualities may gain an advantage from a mental health professional's assistance. Regardless of a more general diagnosis, certain qualities can be harmful to well-being, relationships, and personal growth.
And keep in mind that, even though NPD is a mental health disease, it does not justify destructive or abusive behaviour.
9. Recognize When You Need Help
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| Recognize When You Need Help |
Maintaining a relationship with a narcissistic individual regularly might be detrimental to your own mental and physical health.
Consult your primary care physician first if you have symptoms of anxiety, sadness, unexplained medical illnesses, or if you feel the effects of a difficult relationship. After your assessment, you can ask for recommendations for extra resources, such as support groups and mental health specialists.
Contact your family and friends and enlist the aid of your support network. You don't have to go it alone.
When To Move On
Additionally, some individuals with narcissistic personalities are capable of verbal or emotional abuse.
Here are a few indicators of an abusive partnership:
- name-calling, insults
- yelling, threatening
- patronizing, public humiliation
- jealousy, accusations
Additional red flags to look out for in the other person include:
- blaming for everything on you
- seeking to isolate you or keeping an eye on your movements
- letting you know how you truly feel or ought to feel
- transferring their flaws onto you regularly
- attempting to gaslight you or denying things that are evident to you
- minimising your needs and opinions
The question is, when should you give up? There are highs and lows in any relationship, right?
Although this is true, it is usually advisable to end the relationship if:
- You're experiencing emotional or verbal abuse.
- You experience manipulation and restraint.
- you feel intimidated or that you've been physically mistreated
- You feel alone.
- The narcissist or NPD exhibits symptoms of mental illness or substance abuse yet refuses to seek treatment.
- Your physical or mental health has suffered
Tips for How To Deal With Narcissists
FAQs
What Should You Not Say To A Narcissist?
People with narcissistic personalities may be very sensitive to criticism and, when addressed, may respond aggressively, irrationally, or with hatred.
While it's crucial to establish limits and speak openly with your child, it's unlikely to be helpful to confront them about their actions, label them liars, or expect them to change.
Can Narcissistic Personality Be Corrected?
There is no cure, but therapy can help.
What Are The Four Types Of Narcissism?
- overt narcissism
- antagonistic narcissism
- covert narcissism
- communal narcissism
Takeaway
Building and sustaining good relationships can be difficult for those with NPD, a significant mental health issue.
Although managing a relationship with a person who has NPD can be challenging, it may be helpful to create clear boundaries, develop a solid support network, and practise techniques for remaining calm and responding correctly.
Remember, too, that it's equally crucial to be able to tell when you require assistance and when it's best to end the connection.
